Quote from dvil on September 2, 2012, 09:39
That's it? No badass "300" style fight story?
Looks cool!
Fine, I’ll write a story, I’ll do my best Douglas Adams impersonation, with a touch of Monty Python – and you have to read it in Morgan Freemans voice or this won’t work.
It was a day like no other… except it wasn’t. We lost a lot of good men that day. Most because they restarted the server on us, but also because people realized it was three o’clock in the morning. I moved south, looking for my enemy; I was also looking for my allies – I was lost. Signs of battle were everywhere. Perhaps if they took the signs down, there would be peace. I found some allies knocking quite loudly on the door of a keep. I mounted a battering ram, and proceeded to knock as well. No one had the forethought to look behind us, our enemy approached and asked us to leave – we obliged, we were dead and had no choice, but we obliged. We moved south again, chopping down trees, killing deer, eating peach pies, and arrived at an impasse, mountain to the east, mountain to the west, a single doorway to the south with our enemy on the other side. I mounted a turret gun, and fired arrows through the doorway. It was a stalemate. I decided to herd these cats. An impossible task, but I will lead this charge. “Rush the door at the count of three!” – 1, 2, 3 – I jumped off my turret and ran towards the door. I’m 12 feet tall, wearing fluorescent yellow armor and a flaming sword – who can miss me? Then it happened. They listened. For the first time in the history of universe, they listened. And we drove them back, like a mother in charge of the carpool, but nothing like that, at all. I must use this newfound ability wisely. I declare myself a general. (“No, you’re not, there’s only one general in this town” – “Shut up, Geevs”, “Where the hell am I?”, "that's what she said", actual quotes from the epic battle). Things are said in the heat of the battle, sometimes typed. We were red with fury! (which is appropriate because we were the red team). “To the green tower!” I shouted, and they listened again. And like the 3 pigs, we blew the house down, or something… rabble rabble. I put a flag up. The End.
Happy?
OP delivers.
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